Take a minute to be proud of yourself. |First ever blog post.|

The beginning of This month marked the half way point of 2017, which came as an absolute shock to me considering Christmas literally felt like last Tuesday.. and this made me think ‘Kimberley, what the hell have you actually done with the last 6 months?!’. Apart from consuming more than my weight in gherkins (which is quite the achievment in my eyes) what have I actually done..in fact..in the last year?!

 Initially, after I was quick to judge myself, I came to realise that I have achieved many things in the last year. Ive picked up my whole life, moved 200 miles away from home and completed my first year at uni. Meanwhile, balancing a long distance relationship, a brand new social circle and family time, not to mention abit of ME time when I’m not working. Woah, come to think of it, i’m pretty damn proud of myself! 

We all have a reason to be proud of ourselves. No matter how big or small it may be, an achievement is an achievement. Passed your driving test? BEVS ARE ON ME! Nailed that winged eyeliner? SLAY BITCH! Tried something completely out of your comfort zone? TREAT YOUR GOD DAMN SELF!  

I CANNOT…I REPEAT…I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH PEOPLE!

Thinking deeper into this, we all go through some pretty tough obstacles through life, and we don’t give ourselves enough credit. After all, achieving A personal goal gives satisfaction within. And when I’m satisfied with myself, I am at complete peace. I guess this all starts with just being positive about the skin we are in and being proud of who we are, with all the flaws included! 

While recently on a holiday in Spain, I came to a sudden realisation of what I really wanted to make out of my life. The person I really want to be, and the people I want to surround myself with. I want something more than I have now. After all, we only get one chance at this life, why not do it right? And I believe that optimism is the key to happiness WITHIN! So for the next half of this year I am setting a goal to be more positive about EVERYTHING. I want to give off this shining, sparkly ora of positivity, I want to shove positivity down people throats until they have no other alternative other than to be positive! POSITIVE VIBES, POSITIVE MIND, POSITIVE, POSITIVE AND MORE POSITIVE! 

P.s share the love, there’s plenty more to come.❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️

‘Close your eyes and imagine the best part of you possible, that’s who you really are. Let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe it’ – C.ASSAAD

Celebrating pride and the LGBT community❤️💛💚💙💜j

I’ve had this blog saved in my drafts for the past 2 weeks now and I’ve been really poo with updating it lately, truth is I really wanted to take my time with this one, I don’t want my blogs to be half hearted just because I need to get one out.

Brighton pride has been and gone, And boy was it a weekend to remember!

Although I totally peaked too early, I was still able to endure such a powerful and colourful day. I have never been to any kind of pride before so to celebrate the LGBT community right at the heart of the UKs gay capital as my first time, it is defiantly up there in my list of most empowering experiences.

If I do say so myself, I have a seriously impressive collection of rainbow items in my wardrobe, i felt like I’d been prepping for this day my entire life, I had far too many options to chose from and thinking about it, it’s hilarious. But mostly impressive.

Me and my bezzie fia woke up super early in preparation for the glittering! and it’s a good job we did because we genuinely took about three hours and we were still in a rush! (We managed to remember the wine though)

I don’t know why it’s obligatory to consume alcohol during a public celebration but it seems to be an occurring trend in today’s society, almost like it’s compulsory to consume enough alcohol to maybe, possibly throw up..a little..maybe a lot. It’s ridiculous but it’s a thing, don’t ask!

CARRYING ON…

In true diva style, the parade was running 1 hour behind schedule, which to be honest, worked in our favour as we were too busy having a ‘photo shoot’ in front of some random house anyway.

me with a plastic bag^^^ (bloody love them)

We were feelin’ ourselves! We defiantly had an extra spring in our steps, we knew we were workin it!

The parade began!
It went from 0-100 real quick!
Confetti, glitter, loud music, half naked gay men! I didn’t know where to look first!

Half way through the parade I remember feeling completely overwhelmed with the incredible turn out, thousands of people in one place to fight for and celebrate LGBT rights.

I was totally loving the amount of colour I could see. You couldn’t get away from it. I’ve never seen so many people dressed head to toe in sequins and rainbows, glitter filled the streets of Brighton. I felt very free and accepted.

I honestly can’t quite believe how far the world has come, we are finally starting to make a real breakthrough. Although I am aware that we as a human race are still struggling to find peace and love by accepting others, a sexual preference other than straight is more ‘accepted’ within society than ever before, and it’s all because we have joined forces to fight for rights and acceptance.

LGBT might be more Accepted in society, yet we still have a long way to go. Personally it baffles me why the LGBT community might be so offensive to someone. Why do we still live in a world so unaccepting?
Why are people still so closed minded?
It will always baffle me beyond belief. We are all a conscious mind existing in a physical body, with a gender that should not define us.

Deep^^^

I’m waiting for the day that we are all free to love whoever or whatever we want, To dress how we want and do as we please.

Realistically, there were no rules given with this world, no boundaries. Just opinions of others and others opinions.
We have overcome so much yet we still have so many hurdles to overcome, but I believe we can still do it. In an ideal world everyone would be equal and free, not just gays or transvestites but all races, ages and genders.We are all one race, I wish it was just that simple in others minds.

Thanks for the read!

Peace and loveeeee🌈🌈🌈🌈❤️💛💚💙

My long distance relationship so far and why it’s worth it!

After moving to Brighton last September to study fashion design at university, I honestly didn’t know whether me and my boyfriend jack would stick things out. I’ll be honest, I’ve experienced a long distance relationship before, it wasn’t a great experience I’ll put it that way. So safe to say I was sceptical about it this time round. Not that I ever wanted it to fail.

I don’t think I ever wanted something so much, the thought of leaving behind this newly found love kept me awake at night. I’d never felt something so intense and perfect, it felt like the earth had pushed us together, and in the middle of all the madness, we still found each other. We both knew we couldn’t give up on something so real.

I was petrified that the pressures of being apart might get to us, and the thought of being without him was unbearable. We avoided talking about the matter all together. Until we couldn’t avoid it any longer. I grew so insecure in my own mind.
Will he leave me?
Will he get bored?
Will he stop loving me?
These thoughts ate me alive!
If I could of told myself one thing right there and then, i would of told myself to stop being so over dramatic (as always) and just get on with it! I was going to uni and that was that, and we were staying together.

Worrying about things that haven’t even happened used to be my favourite thing to do.

I think the first thing you really need to establish before taking a big step like a long distance relationship is to really be honest with yourself. If you don’t see this relationship going anywhere then it’s probably time to squash it and save both of you some heart ache. After all life is way too precious to waste so much energy on something that you know is a complete waste of time.

But we genuinely knew it was the right thing to do, it wasn’t even up for discussion, and we haven’t gave it a second thought since!

I’d rather take a chance than regret it later , I hate thinking ‘what ifs’

Making time for eachother.

I genuinely think this is the most important, above all.
Whether it’s 10 minutes, 10 hours or 10 days. Quality Time is precious.

Me and jack both have full time jobs at the minute so it’s hard to know when we’re going to see eachother and how long for.

For the last few weeks we have tried so hard to make the extra effort and travel to eachother on our days off and it just so happens that our days off sometimes fall on the same days, Which is obviously amazing! With only two days off a week we usually only get one full day together but rather than moan about the lack of time, we embrace the moment and take what we can get!

It’s exhausting balancing so many things in life as well as a long distance relationship but you get out what you put in and so far it’s working!

It breaks my heart everyday that I don’t get to wake up next to his beautiful open mouthed, snotty face every morning but I genuinely think it’s made us grow as a couple and also as individuals.
I think with a situation like this you always absolutely have to see the positives in everything, or things will fade very quickly.

In a way I do feel blessed for this chance to experience this long distance relationship with such an amazing man. We have to give ourselves credit, we’ve made it so easy for eachother, although times do get hard when we miss eachother like crazy but we come out of it stronger than ever and our connection is unbelievable.

Also having the year to really be confident in knowing who I am and what I want, it’s been a real eye opener.
In past relationships I’ve never gave myself any space to just have some me time and really know who I am and what I want from this life, so for the first time in my life I actually know ME and its so incredibly cool to share this me with someone who I appreciate and love. It feels amazing!
❤️❤️💖💜💙💚
I will continue to write about our long distance journey!

Thanks for reading, see you soon 🌈

Battling my anxieties.

For the past week I have been debating this topic to the point where I’ve blatantly avoided writing it. But I want my blog to be personal, helpful, insightful, inspiring and everything inbetween. I want to share my experiences.

I’m not going to beat around the bush here, lets get straight to the point!                Anxiety is a BITCH! And we’ve probably all experienced it at least once in our lives. 

For the past 7 years of my life I have had an ongoing battle with a mental illness, formally known as derealization. Derealization is an alteration in the perception or experience of the external world so that it seems unreal. Other symptoms include feeling as though one’s environment is lacking in spontaneity, emotional colouring, and depth. Derealisation is an experience of unreality in the outside world. (Pasted from google..you’re welcome) 

So now that you are aware of this illness, what is it like living with it? 

I’m not going to sugar coat it, it has been some of the roughest years of my life and I have hit the lowest of lows. 

The first person I told about the costant ‘dream like’ feeling was my mum, who has been my absolute rock and roll. After months of not knowing what was going on with my mind, thinking I was going crazy, Questioning my whole life before this and genuinely not knowing if I was dead or alive, thoughts would cross my mind ‘why don’t I just jump infront of this car, will I feel real then?’. A little lost voice inside me would tell me and reassure me that I AM here and that I have EVERYTHING to live for. It was always so hard to believe, but I trusted that. 

That was a really low point for me and as I write this I still feel the emotional pain I was going through at that moment, it felt like I was walking through an endless fog and a huge cloud hovering over my head. 

After telling my mum about my suicidal tendencies, She put me on the waiting list for a phycologist who eventually seen me after a year and then later diagnosed me. ‘Talking’ about my feelings and experiences..It wasn’t easy, I HATED talking about it and personally it didn’t help, it made it worse, it hightened everything I was feeling. But it had to be done. I had to understand what was happening. 

I have to admit, after a diagnosis it lifted the load abit, not that it ever made it go away. 

Lets skip forward 6 years and avoid the life story.

Years on, after learning to accept Who I am and move forward,  the symptoms have lessened and I’m living with it. Not every day is a walk in the park and i still get my bad days, but after all that has happened I don’t think I would change the past 7 years.

 I am me because of the experiences I have faced and I believe that this illness WILL NOT define me and I AM a better person because of it! 

By sharing this I want to raise awareness of this illness and all mental illnesses. 

Someone is always going through their own battles, big or small. 

Share a smile! It can makes someone’s day!